Emotional Walls

Many of us are comfortable behind the emotional walls we’ve had for so long to protect ourselves from being hurt. Our past hurts and disappointments have taught us not to bring your emotions to the table.

We’ve learned through our past experiences, to hide our emotions, bottle up our feelings and act as if our emotions don’t matter. Sometimes we hide our emotions for fear of appearing weak, being rejected or feel vulnerable.

Emotions are powerful. They can override thoughts. Influence our relationships. And transform our behavior. They empower us to understand ourselves and overcome challenges.

Emotions are to be explored, encountered, and enjoyed. They were never meant to be bottled up.

Emotional Capacity

You experience emotional rest when you no longer feel the need to perform or meet external expectations. It is the cessation of emotional striving.

We have an internal capacity to manage emotions. We pour out of this space as we offer sympathy to a friend who is grieving a loss, console a tearful toddler in our arms, or encourage our coworker on a job well done.

Each interaction we have throughout the day, we’re giving a bit of ourselves. When our emotional withdrawals exceed our emotional capacity, we will experience emotional fatigue.

Emotional rest is a deposit back into our emotional reserves.

Emotionally Connected

Emotions are similar to infections; they are highly contagious. As you share your emotions, you are also being affected by the emotions of others.

When in proximity to others, emotions will spread. With the vast accessibility of the internet, emotions can spread directly or indirectly.

Face-to-face conversations are now less important, as text messages, social media, emails and many other outlets give us opportunities to share our emotions at any time.

We are more emotionally connected to the world than ever before, and because of this fact, we have tapped out our emotional capacity.

Despite our emotional connectedness to the world via the internet, we have lost the ability to process our emotions.

It’s easier to participate in an emotional rant on social media then to process why that pain of rejection is there in the first place. It’s convenient to send a text message than to stop by to visit a friend who just lost a job.

Face-to-face interaction leaves no place to hide. Your body language communicates your current emotional state, and you may not welcome that communication because your current emotional state may be very different from the social media blast you would rather share.

Technology has made is easy to act like we have our act together.

Authenticity

Do you find you act differently when around certain people? If so, you are not alone. Most people admit they have different personas in different situations.

This is not a condemnation for not being authentically you 100 percent of the time. The truth is that we all have had moments of inauthenticity.

We all feel the pressure to perform. This drive can be present in careers, family matters, and social relationships. It becomes engrained in our way of interacting with others to the extent we no longer feel comfortable being ourselves.

We worry that we aren’t good enough and are insecure about rejection. So, it feels safer showing up as the person we think everyone will like than to risk rejection.

When we stop being our authentic selves, we dive deep into an emotional pit. The only way out is to return to the place of emotional rest, when we no longer feel the need to perform. That’s how we reclaim our sanity from emotional striving to be someone we’re not.

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