When it isn’t what you imagined it would be.
Quiet moments are rare in our house. When you have three little and energetic kids who are always looking for something to keep them entertained, the noise never stops. From dawn to dusk, I’m surrounded by noise and chaos that cripples my ability to focus on anything.
At the end of a long day with my kids, I’m usually exhausted, expended and have a nagging headache from yelling at my kids to stop screaming, stop fighting or stop playing all together.
I desperately yearned for peace in the midst of noise and chaos. So I spent most of my time demanding stillness and quietness from my kids, forgetting that they were just being kids.Yelling at the top of my voice in an attempt to control the noise, only left me feeling weak and defeated at the end of the day.
It was obvious, the restlessness I felt, revealed the chaos within me. For so long, I wrestled with how to calm the chaos within me. I struggled with the reality of how hard motherhood was and it left me unsettled about everything. Can you relate?
Have you gotten to a place in your motherhood journey, where you were so far away from what you had ever imagined and it made you question everything?
Maybe you question your faith. Abilities. Purpose. Whether you are a good mom or a good wife. Life has spiraled out of control and you’re desperate for peace in the storms of life and calm in chaos of motherhood.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)
The hard truth.
First, I had to admit the truth. I had been trying to do it on my own terms, self-effort and self-reliance. It was exhausting to rely on my knowledge, ability and strength to make it through life and motherhood. I learned this hard truth when I became burned out.
I had put all my efforts, time and energy into being successful at my career as a physician while the rest of my life fell apart. My family especially suffered the most because they got the leftovers. I was overwhelmed by mom guilt that I didn’t feel present in my kids’ lives and my marriage was an afterthought.
I felt helpless and so alone.
This was a turning point for me and I knew that something had to change.
Realizing that I couldn’t do it all was probably the lowest moment of my life. It was a humbling truth that I had wrestled so hard to admit. I couldn’t do it all in my own strength.
Admitting your limitations is not weakness as some people may think but it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit where we fall short. And that’s exactly where God’s grace and strength is revealed, in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Instead of running from one task to another, glorifying our busyness yet feeling empty and unfulfilled. I had no other choice but to slow down, press pause and look at what was going on in my own soul. It was hard to do but I needed to face the truth.
We all need to take inventory of our lives because being busy doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re productive or fulfilled.
Pressing pause means letting go of somethings in order to find peace. Letting go of the desire to be in control of everything truly sets us free. Free from the expectations we put on ourselves or from others. Free to fully embrace the rest and peace that comes from trusting that God has it all under control.
This will set you free as a mom. It has set me free. To no longer rely on your own knowledge and strength but to rest in God’s strength, wisdom and power that enables you to do much more than you would have ever imagined according to His power at work in us (Ephesians 3:20)
Roman 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”
My prayer and encouragement to you, mom, is that you would interrupt the chaos around you and quiet your soul. Press pause and lean into God to find peace and rest that we all desperately need. For it is only then, that we can hear His voice more clearly leading and guiding us through the journey of life and motherhood.
Dear Lord, help me to let go of unrealistic expectations, unnecessary pressure and the need to be in control of everything. I lean on You, Holy Spirit to strengthen me for the most important tasks. And I rely on Your infinite wisdom to guide me in the commitments that matter most. I rest in Your strength, wisdom and power to do all that You have called me to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.