After a long and exhausting day of juggling work, kids activities, household tasks and so many other demands pulling at me, I collapsed on the couch to catch my breath after putting the kids to bed. I sat alone in the dark room and quietly pondered. I felt the stabbing feeling of stress like a sharp pain and pressure in my chest. Every breath was a reminder that I was still alive even though I sat there on the couch, in the dark, like a lifeless body succumbed to bone deep exhaustion.
The tightness and heaviness over my neck and shoulders felt as if I was carrying the weight of the world on my little shoulders. My brain was tired and barely able to process anything at this point but my mind was restless and flooded with so many thoughts. Dark thoughts that made me cringe at the fact that they even crossed my mind.
I found myself wondering if life was worth living anymore because it felt like I was just existing, going through the motions every day and just barely surviving from day to day. I begged God to just take my life and not wake me up the next day because I just couldn’t continue living life this way. I consoled myself that my children and family will be fine even if I wasn’t here anymore and that God will take care of them. Life and motherhood was just too hard and certainly not what I had hoped. I just couldn’t do it anymore, so I was mentally resigning myself from it all. Have you ever been there?
Only about a few minutes had gone by as I sat in the dark room but that moment felt like eternity. Then as if God reached down to snatch me out of this dark place, a thought that brought a glimpse of hope crossed my mind. THERE’S GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS. In my hour of desperation, with a flood of tears raining down my face, the only prayer I could utter were, “GOD HELP ME!” “GOD HELP ME!” “GOD HELP ME!” I repeated these words over and over and over again until I could sense an unusual courage rise up within me and a glimpse of hope that shattered the darkness that surrounded me.
This hope that brought courage to my faint heart came from no other than the name of JESUS! As I groaned, moaned, murmured and spoke His name over and over again because it was the only thing I knew to do. He reminded me of His Word in John 10:10, “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]. This Word was so powerful and like a sharp two-edged sword, it penetrated my heart and soul, slaying every dark thought and revived hope in my heart like never before.
This was a moment of truth that has changed my life forever.I realized that my life as a mom may not have been what I had hoped but God has promised me so much more.An abundant life, an enjoyable life, life to the full, till it overflows. And that life can only be found in Him. In relationship with Him, abiding with Him, resting in Him, leaning on Him and trust in Him to give me the abundant life that He has promised.
Have you had a moment of truth in your desperation and despair about motherhood and life? Friend, I invite you to come to Christ. And in the words of Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, “ In Him, you will find:
Grace and Gratitude
Contentment and Courage
Peace and Perspective
Dependence and Delight
Trust and Thriving
Strength and Sanity
A Slower Pulse and Steady Praise.
Worship and Wonder
Restoration and Refreshing
In a word, REST.”
Dear Lord, You have promised to give me life in abundance and to the full. Jesus, I want nothing less than the life that You died to give me. Help me to live and enjoy the abundant life that You have given me and rest in Your overflowing blessings in my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Reflect on Truth
Stand firm, and you will win life. -Luke 21:19
You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life. -Lamentation 3:58
Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matthew 11:28-29
Hi Friend! I’m Susan, an ordinary girl who is learning to press pause, slow down and take in life one day at a time as I capture the beautiful and God-inspired moments in every day.
With God’s wisdom, I’m learning to embrace rest, find joy in the mundane and to prioritize what’s most important in life. I love to encourage Moms about how God is showing up in the journey of life, family and motherhood. I can’t wait to hear your story!
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